Mouth Guards and Concussions: A Literature Review

An HGP member recently submitted a question regarding mouth guard use.  It sparked a discussion the topic and there seemed to be controversy on the topic.  As a health care provider and a professor, I like to turn to science for answers.  I did a fairly exhaustive search of the more current literature available to me in the medical library at the University of Nebraska Medical Center.  I found  it to be inconclusive at best, and definitely leaning toward the assertion that mouth guards do little to reduce the incidence or severity of concussion.

To be clear, I am making NO RECOMMENDATION regarding your parental decision on whether your goalie should use a mouth guard.  This is simply a review of the information (2005-present) that I was able to find on the matter for your edification.


A 2005 study in the Clinical Journal of Sports medicine compared 610 players on 12 football and rugby teams revealed no difference in the incidence of concussion based on type of mouthguard used.(Barbic, Pater, & Brison, 2005)

A 2007 article published in Sports Medicine, Knapik, et al concluded “Studies comparing mouthguard users with nonusers have examined different sports, employed a variety of study designs and used widely-varying injury case definitions. Prior to the 1980s, most studies exhibited relatively low methodological quality. Despite these issues, meta-analyses indicated that the risk of an orofacial sports injury was 1.6–1.9 times higher when a mouthguard was not worn. However, the evidence that mouthguards protect against concussion was inconsistent, and no conclusion regarding the effectiveness of mouthguards in preventing concussion can be drawn at present. Mouthguards should continue to be used in sport activities where there is significant risk of orofacial injury.”  (Knapik et al., 2007)

In a 2011 review of the literature on concussion published in Clinics in Sports Medicine, Daneshvar, et al reviewed the role of helmets and mouth guards in preventing sports-related concussions.  They wrote, “During the 1960s and 1970s, the use of mouth guards was made mandatory in many sports, including football, ice hockey, lacrosse, field hockey, and boxing. The rationale for these rule changes was to provide additional protection against dental and orofacial injuries and to reduce a player’s risk of concussion.  However, at that time, as well as now, there is little evidence that mouth guards provide protection against concussion.”  In a hockey-specific discussion in the same article, the authors state, while post-concussive symptoms  (headache, dizziness, etc) may be reduced by using a mouth guard, the rate of incidence and severity of concussion was not statistically different between those who wore a mouth guard and those who did not. (Daneshvar et al., 2011)

 In a an an article from the American Journal of Sports Medicine (2014) reviewing 2081 high school football players, comprising 134,437 football events,  9% sustained sustained sport-related concussions.    The study found that rate of concussion was HIGHER in players with a custom mouth guard as compared to those with a generic mouth guard. (McGuine, Hetzel, McCrea, & Brooks, 2014)

The National Athletic Trainers Association published a position statement on the management of sport concussion in 2014 based on an extensive review of the medical literature.  In it, they state: “Consistent evidence to support the use of mouthguards for concussion mitigation is not available. However, substantial evidence demonstrates that a properly fitted mouthguard reduces dental injuries.”  (Broglio et al., 2014)


BIBLIOGRAPHY

Barbic, D., Pater, J., & Brison, R. J. (2005). Comparison of mouth guard designs and concussion prevention in contact sports: a multicenter randomized controlled trial. Clinical Journal of Sport Medicine: Official Journal of the Canadian Academy of Sport Medicine, 15(5), 294–298.

Broglio, S. P., Cantu, R. C., Gioia, G. A., Guskiewicz, K. M., Kutcher, J., Palm, M., & McLeod, T. C. V. (2014). National Athletic Trainers’ Association Position Statement: Management of Sport Concussion. Journal of Athletic Training, 49(2), 245–265. http://doi.org/10.4085/1062-6050-49.1.07

Daneshvar, D. H., Baugh, C. M., Nowinski, C. J., McKee, A. C., Stern, R. A., & Cantu, R. C. (2011). Helmets and Mouth Guards: The Role of Personal Equipment in Preventing Sport-Related Concussions. Clinics in Sports Medicine, 30(1), 145–163. http://doi.org/10.1016/j.csm.2010.09.006

Knapik, J. J., Marshall, S. W., Lee, R. B., Darakjy, S. S., Jones, S. B., Mitchener, T. A., … Jones, B. H. (2007). Mouthguards in sport activities : history, physical properties and injury prevention effectiveness. Sports Medicine (Auckland, N.Z.), 37(2), 117–144.

McGuine, T. A., Hetzel, S., McCrea, M., & Brooks, M. A. (2014). Protective Equipment and Player Characteristics Associated With the Incidence of Sport-Related Concussion in High School Football Players: A Multifactorial Prospective Study. The American Journal of Sports Medicine, 42(10), 2470–2478. http://doi.org/10.1177/0363546514541926

Be Like Bill: Eight Tools for Curbing Bad Sports Parent Behavior

‘Be Like Bill’ photo credit to Canadian Hockey Moms.

We have all been there...letting ourselves be sucked into “that parent” behavior during a particularly tense sporting event.  Some of us visit occasionally.  Some wander into it more often that we are proud to admit.  Some…well, some just live there.  What on Earth is it that makes a typically rational, professional, level-headed human being turn into a raging lunatic during a youth sporting event??  

There are legions of bad sports parents around.  We know what they look like.  And on varying levels, we usually know when we ourselves have become one, whether temporarily or on a routine basis.  I’m not asking you to admit it out loud, but search your soul and ask yourself…have you ever felt that deep shame after a game or tournament about your behavior at the rink or the field or the gym?   Have you wondered what others must have thought about the way you acted?  Have you mentally berated yourself and said, “This is the LAST time I’m going to let that happen!”

There are lots of articles written about obnoxious sports parents, identifying their behaviors telling you that you shouldn’t behave that way.  Yup.  We know we shouldn’t act that way.  We nod our heads and tell ourselves, “Next time, I’m not getting sucked into it!”   But then next time comes around, and there you are again….screaming at the refs and exchanging barbs with parents from the other team.  You just can’t HELP yourself….you get into that rink and you lose your ever-loving MIND!

So how do you stop yourself from allowing this to happen?  Are you simply admonishing yourself and then hoping it doesn’t happen again when the heat of the moment hits?  News flash, Clark…that ain’t gonna cut it.   In order to change an ingrained pattern of behavior, you must actively do something about cultivating change!

Below are some tips on how to start gaining control of your outbursts and transforming yourself into the kind of sports parent that your child can be proud of and that reflects who you are in every other aspect of your life.

1.  Hard Conversation: Population, 1

• Like any 12-step program will tell you, the first and most critical move toward change is admitting that you have a problem.  That statement is not meant to marginalize the struggles of those battling addiction, rather, to impress upon you that the tendency toward this type of behavior is powerful and, left unchecked, will continue to devolve.  
  
  Think back through the last few weeks of games and tournaments.  Can you look yourself in the mirror and say that you have behaved in an appropriate manner at all times?  That you’ve never said or done something you really wish you could take back?  If the answer is yes, then you can stop reading.  This article isn’t for you.  You’re the type of parent we all aspire to be.  Give yourself a pat on the back, get yourself back out there and keep on setting examples for the rest of us.  We admire you.
  
  However, if you dig deep into the honesty barrel and come up with a big fat NO, then ask yourself this:  Is this who you really want to be?  Are you willing to just keep hoping that the next time a ref misses a call or an opposing parent is chirping your kid, you’ll somehow tap your inner Chi and find peace and calm in the moment?  Or has the time come to take a proactive approach to become the better version of you? Read on, my friend….read on…

2.  Preparation Work:  Mental Coaching

• First, know that there are volumes of research on behavioral change that will tell you that this kind of transformation of thought and behavior isn’t going to happen overnight.  Despite your best efforts, you’ll have lapses in judgment and regression of your behavior from time to time.  It’s ok.  Jump back into that saddle of righteousness and try again.  In the famous words of Dory the Fish…”Just keep swimming.”  This is a process.  A marathon, not a sprint.  It takes time to change behavior, but it is worth it in the end.
  
  The first and most important element of initiating change is learning how to mentally prepare yourself.  Just like your athlete takes time before the game to get into the right frame of mind to compete, you must do the same.  In the days leading into a tournament, you should begin to mentally coach yourself on how you’re going to face the pressure in the heat of the moment.
  
  Before every single game, you should take a few moments to get your head right.  As you gather your coffee, your blankets, your sunscreen or your soccer chair, take a few minutes to also gather your wits about you.  Step inside your own head for a minute and remind yourself of your own expectations for your behavior in the next hour or two.  Run down a mental checklist of the points below as a reminder to help you keep things in perspective and keep yourself under control. 

3.  Reality Check:  Consider the Source

• Take a minute to think about the actual PEOPLE involved in youth sports.  Don’t depersonalize them into “ref” and “coach” and “player”.  Keep in mind that every single character on the playing field of sports is an actual human being.  They have parents and wives and real jobs and feelings, too!  
  
  That coach dedicates countless hours of his or her time to develop practice plans, oversee practices, communicate with parents, schedule tournaments, and a multitude of other behind-the-scenes tasks involved with coaching that no one ever sees.  He doesn’t do it for the glory or the praise…he does it because he loves the sport and he loves kids and he wants to give back.
  
  That referee may be someone who has played the sport since she was a child, has coached her own children who are now adults, and still has something to give to the sport, so she stays involved and continues to share her expertise with yet another generation of kids.
  
  That “goon” of a player from the other team is just a 10 year old kid with an abusive father who lashes out on the ice because it’s the only place he can exert any control and doesn’t know any other way to vent his emotions.
  
  These are real people.  Please don't forget that.

4.  Phantom Oversight:  Your Imaginary Authority Figure

• Think of someone you respect.  Someone who would have high expectations of your level of behavior.  Someone who would be aghast at even the slightest glimpse of tomfoolery from you.  Perhaps it’s your boss or your grandmother or your pastor.  Doesn’t matter who it is…just conjure the single person in your life who expects the best from you.   Now plant that supernatural supervisor in the seat right beside you and keep them there throughout the game.  Pretend that they’re watching every move you make and every sound you utter.  You’ll be surprised by the powerful effect that the presence of someone you don’t want to disappoint will have on you…even if they’re imaginary!  And if you’re feeling REALLY brave…invite the actual person to be there, live and in the flesh! 

5.  Audio File: Listen and Learn

• Another great tool to keep you on the straight and narrow is to create a record of your hijinx.  Set your smart phone to audio record and let it record you during the game.  Tell yourself you’re going to let your kid listen to the recording when the game is over.  Or sit close enough to the dad who is videotaping the game so that everything you say is captured for posterity.   There’s nothing like having a physical record of your own bad behavior to cause you to want to curb it!

6.  Taking the High Road: Choose Class over Crass

• You’re in the moment and it begins to happen around you.  Your fellow team parents are starting to complain loudly.  The frustration levels are high.  Opposing parents are making rude comments within earshot of your side of the stands.  And the temptation creeps in……  You want to join in the fray.  You can’t find the strength to let that rude comment go without a biting retort.  You feel that mounting sense of anxiety and frustration starting to build.
  
  You have to be able to recognize it when it starts.  Be acutely aware of exactly what sorts of things set you off.  Once you’ve identified those triggers, ELIMINATE THEM.  If certain parents tend to suck you into their antics, sit with someone else.  If overhearing the opposing parents’ banter drives you nuts, sit far enough away from them that you don’t hear it.  And if you can still hear it in the stands, go stand on the glass.  Sit alone on the far side of the rink.  Do what you need to do to remove yourself from the urge to join in.  It is your responsibility to be proactive about eliminating triggers.
  
  Keeping yourself occupied during a game is a great distraction.  Tweet updates on the team account during the game.  Count shots on goal.  Keep plus-minus stats or keep track of what lines are out and how much time they get.  Do anything that allows you to watch the game while focusing on something constructive rather than getting sucked into the destructive negativity.
  
  Whatever you do to eliminate temptation, remind yourself that choosing to rise above the ridiculousness proves that you’re better than that.  Don’t succumb to the weakness…be the bigger person and choose to class the joint up a bit rather than to contribute to its decay.

7.  Distance Yourself: Keep it in Perspective

• This is youth sports, folks…not the NHL or the MLB or the NBA.  Youth. Sports.
  
  An important part of your mental checklist before a game should be the reminder that the goals of youth sports are to teach kids teamwork, athletic skills, and the importance of sportsmanship.  You are a critical part of that last one…sportsmanship.  When you’re losing your mind in the stands and screaming insults at the coaches or refs or other parents, take a moment to shoot a glance at your kid.  I will almost guarantee that he’s mortified.  He's probably sitting far away from his teammates and not making eye contact, hoping that no one else has noticed you and points out that you’re HIS mom or dad.  Is that the kind of role model you want to be for him?
  
  Being emotionally vested in the outcome of the game makes it very difficult to distance yourself from it and to stay above the insanity.  In order to understand what that means, you must experience watching a game in which you aren’t vested and do a little self-analysis.  Compare and contrast your behavior and your mindset when you watch a game in which you’re not emotionally invested with the way you think and act when you watch your own kid play.  Go watch a game some day between two teams unknown to you and really THINK about how you watch that game.  What do you focus on?  Do you make positive comments about nice plays or saves by both teams?  Do you become enraged when a questionable call is made by the official?
  
  Take that emotional distance you experienced and do your best to translate it to watching your own kid’s game.  Focus on the same sorts of things.  Approach the game with the same sense of balance and fair criticism.  

8.  Assume Good Intent: Nobody’s Perfect

• One of the root causes of nearly every adverse interpersonal interaction is the assumption by one party that the other party’s actions were intentionally evil.  In reality, that is rarely the case.  The ref or umpire did not arrive at the sports venue with the expressed intent to miss calls or to hose down one team over another.  He simply made mistakes.  He can’t see everything that happens on the ice or the field at all times.  He’s human.  Once you can let go of the expectation that every ref will be perfect every time and will never make a mistake, it is quite freeing.
  
  Questionable calls and less-than perfect reffing is part of the game.  It is going to happen.  It’s one of the downsides of youth sports, but you can’t eliminate it, so let it go.  Unless you sometimes wear the stripes and know the game well enough to ref it, keep your mouth shut and let the coaches deal with the refs.  Here’s a little tip:  Remember when I said the ref is human?  Guess what effect a whole grandstand full of parents who are screaming obscenities and insults at him is going to have?  Think that’s helping your team out?   Think he’s going to be compelled to call the game your way after that assault? Not.  A.  Chance.  You’re only hurting your team, so knock it off.
  
  Similarly, that 13 year old defenseman didn’t prepare for the game by intentionally planning to haul down your star player on a breakaway.  He’s 13, and he has poor impulse control.  He reacted in the moment and made a bad choice.  He lost his temper when the ref called the penalty and slammed his stick.  You shouldn’t be surprised by this adolescent display of anger.  It doesn’t make his behavior right, and that behavior should be dealt with, but that’s his coach’s job and his parent’s job, not yours.  Unless you want another parent screaming at your kid, don’t scream at theirs.
  
  Assume that everyone arrived at the venue hoping for a well-coached, well-officiated contest full of hard play and good sportsmanship.  Do your best to do YOUR OWN part in that and understand that human nature will get the best of every single person some of the time.  Understand it, have some compassion, and try not to judge. 

The decay of morality in youth sports environments is a troubling trend and it will only change if we actively pursue solutions.  Each and every parent, coach, player and official has a personal responsibility to behave appropriately.  Are you doing your part?  If not, why not?

Taking it to the Next Level, Volume 5: Why Young Hockey Players SHOULDN'T Train Like Pros

In today's culture of youth sports, the level of competition seems to be creeping higher and higher at younger and younger ages. This forces young athletes and their parents to seek ways to become more competitive at what seems like an impossibly young age.  Nine and ten year olds are finding themselves in the gym working out in an effort to emulate the pros and to gain a competitive edge.

Renowned strength and conditioning coach Maria Mountain of GoalieTrainingPro.com trains professional, olympic and elite level goalies and other athletes.  Today, she shares the following series of videos with us to help us understand how young bodies work and what our expectations should be as they grow and develop....and why they should NOT be training like professional athletes at age 9!

Click the links below each photo to watch!

Building the Foundation

Muscle Mass vs. Motor Patterns

Strength Training Safely

The Goalie Parent Culture: It's Up to Us

There are many ways that parenting a goalie creates unique challenges and obstacles.  It is filled with white-knuckle, jaws-clenched, eyes-closed moments when you don’t even realize you’re not breathing until after the save is made or the goal is scored.  It’s filled with head-shaking, dumbfounded, speechless moments when your goalie exhibits bizarre behavior that only a goalie could come up with.  It’s the after-game walk into the lobby after a particularly tough game, bracing yourself for the inevitable sideways glances and looks of pity from the other parents…even though YOU know your goalie stood on his head and did the best he could, but the entire team effort wasn’t enough…yet somehow they blame YOUR kid instead of their own. 

Goalie parents share a bond.  We all go through the same roller coaster of emotions each and every season.  Tryouts, good games, bad games, team politics, rude parents, ignorant parents….our individual stories are variations on a theme, but we all experience them in much the same manner.  It’s probably why one goalie parent can almost always spot another one in the lobby or the stands.  (Perhaps we recognize one another from the waiting room of our psychiatrist’s office?) 

And this is why goalie parents NEED each other.  Jacques Plante once said “Only a goalie can appreciate what a goalie goes through.”  I think the same can be said of goalie parents.  Only WE know what we go through.  

I propose that we collectively begin to define a culture among goalie parents.  That we create an environment of support and collaboration.  A Goalie Parent Code of Conduct, per se.  I propose that we work together to strengthen the resources available to goalies and to educate others about this unique position.  Here are the four principles of my proposal. 

1.  Support One Another

Mutual respect based on shared experiences should be the underlying principle of our culture.  Encourage one another.  Share your own experiences and expertise.  Seek each other out before or after games, regardless of the inter-squad dynamics and rivalries, to congratulate our goalies successes and encourage goalies who may still be developing.  Make an effort to reach out to new goalie parents in your organization and mentor them.   The HGP Code should supercede any silly political dynamics.

2.  Share Resources

 Everyone has so many great resources at their disposal.  We should do what we can to share information with others in an effort to raise each other up and make us all better.  We can do that in our HGP group by sharing great articles and content.  You can also share resources within your program or league.  Start a Facebook page or other group with fellow goalie parents in your area or organize a regional equipment swap (we all know how expensive gear is!) 

3.  Collaborate

Goalies are often the ‘forgotten children’ of hockey.  Leagues and organizations put a lot of resources into development of players, but often goalies are not a priority.  This is a perennial source of frustration for parents.  But there is strength in numbers, so WORK TOGETHER to find a solution.  If you’re frustrated with the lack of resources dedicated to goalies, gather all of the parents together and attend a board meeting.  Contact USA Hockey or Hockey Canada.   Don’t just sit around and stew in your own angst, band together and DO something to change it!

4.  Educate

 We know that there is a lack of understanding of the goalie position and its unique challenges outside of the goaltender circles.  People just don’t understand goaltending.  It drives us nuts.  We want to pull our hair out and scream from the mountaintops!   Again, I urge action instead of reaction.  Most “outsiders” behavior is rooted in misconceptions and a lack of real knowledge about goaltending.  So EDUCATE them!  We share a ton of great resources here on HGP and there is a lot more out there, too.  Find constructive ways to share information with parents, coaches and organization leaders.  Get your goalie coach involved, too.  Hold informational sessions, share articles, talk to people….help them understand the nuances so that they can learn to support goaltenders in the most constructive way.

The establishment of this culture depends on us, goalie parents.   We and we alone are responsible to decide how we want to exist and how we want to be perceived.   Let’s work together to create a healthy community of respect, support and collaboration! !  

Taking it to the Next Level, Vol. 4.2: Verbal and Written Communication

In the second half of our installment on communication, Tony Raffo, director of IGT-Intensity Goaltender Training and goalie coach for Hockey Thurgau in the Swiss NLB Pro League, discusses how important it is for young people to develop and USE good communication skills off the ice: 


Verbal & written communication is a critical skill in taking your game to the next level. We all need to work at it every day, but it's especially important for young goalies to learn to be enabled to develop their communication skills.

Some parents do not allow or enable their children to communicate in a reasonable way. For example, often when I ask a goalie a question, their parent answers before they have a chance to respond. While almost 100% of coaches will go out of their way to listen and respond to a goalie, many do not want a lot of communication with parents. Of course, parents have to monitor this and vet any coach communicating with their child, but players should be encouraged to build open lines of communication directly with their coach.   A goalie should always speak with their coach first if they have a problem. The very best way to communicate is in person, face to face.

Easy example: Bantam Bill had a great week of practice; prepared, working, battling and stopping everything. His partner Greg played last weekend, and did well, but Bill believes that he consistently outworked and outplayed Greg this week in practice. This may be a great time for Bill to speak with the coach, not to ask who is starting, but to state: 'Coach, I am ready to "steal" the game Saturday.' Making that statement puts pressure on Bill to perform, and calls for a response without asking a direct question. The results may not be immediate, but it just might get the coach thinking about Bill's week and to consider that maybe it's time to give Bill a chance.

Instead, what I see too often this: Bill's parents are unhappy because Bill did not play last weekend. They communicate their negative emotions to Bill who pouts and goes through the motions instead of bearing down for a great week of practice. Greg starts his 3rd game in a row on Saturday and then Bill's parents confront the coach to express their concerns.

Parents, please encourage your children to communicate directly with their coaches, in person, themselves! Normally, coming off the ice after practice is a good time to address a coach in relative privacy, but if communication is kept positive, as above, there is no need for privacy. Once again, a little role playing at home will help and can be fun. Family and friends can help, but it shouldn’t be treated as a joke.  It should be considered communication training. Remember to keep the message positive.  Avoid such statements as: 'Coach, Greg missed practice, and was lazy this week, so I deserve to start Saturday.'

Phone Calls: Most young people don't know how to speak on the phone anymore. Texting is fine at times, but the best substitute for speaking to another human being in person is to call them on the phone. Not all coaches give out their cell number and prefer not to receive a lot of texts.  In the example above, maybe Bill didn't get the opportunity to speak with his coach Thursday at practice, so Bill can call him later that night or on or Friday. Always be prepared to leave a short message, such as:  “Hi coach, this is Bill, 216-555-9687. Please call me back when you have time. Thank you." This is another area in which role playing with your goalie will help. Really call each other, and don’t be in the same room together so it seems as real as possible. Also, make sure your voicemail is set up and check it regularly so that you don’t miss important calls.

Texts: Texting is great for quick info and is an easy form of communication, but not for deep thoughts or writing that requires more thinking. Texting the weekend's schedule is fine, but for communicating about starts and playing time, texting is not fine. Some coaches are at fault, too, because it's easier to text unpleasant info. If a goalie has the courage to speak and call, then a coach looks bad by texting unpleasant info. We coaches need to be held accountable, too!

Email: Email is a great tool for detailed writing and copying other parties. Young people should be taught to check and respond to email promptly.  It is excellent for a goalie to email a coach and copy his parents, and coaches must also copy parents when communicating with a player. The problem with email is that some hide behind it.  Email gives people the courage write what they may not say in person. It takes courage to speak with a coach in person or to call them. When emotions are high, it is useful to a step back. Maybe Bill is too upset to be respectful to his coach in person, so in that case emailing his thoughts calmly would be better, perhaps the next day.  A lot of back and forth emailing is too much. To follow up on an email, it is recommended to call or speak in person.

Writing: Real writing, which can be delivered in person, or sent via US Mail, has a much stronger impact today than ever before. You should teach your children to use that to their advantage. One of the best examples of appropriate use of written communication is writing thank you notes.  Buy a box of small thank you cards, stamp the envelopes, even get your goalie their own address stickers, and encourage them to fire away! Hundreds of emails, texts, and calls come in every day to successful, very busy, coaches, but how many thank you cards do you think they get in the mail?

Example:  Bill asks a Midget AAA coach, in person, if he can practice with them to prepare for a tournament. (TIP:  It is much harder to say no to someone in person!).  The coach agrees and afterward spends some time with Bill, telling him that he is welcome anytime but must contact him first. After the tournament, the Midget coach receives a hand-written thank you card from Bill, with a copy of his schedule, also asking if the coach will come to see Bill play sometime. Bill writes that he will let the coach know when he is starting, and will be in contact with him soon again. Bill includes his phone number, and email address.

Do you see how this could payoff come tryout time? Written communication should be genuine, but is a very effective  way to make an impression. Your goalie has to be hungry to train and do the work, but this style of communicating is something we must teach them to do, and it takes practice. 

In conclusion, the way a player conducts himself and communicates with coaches, parents, teammates, off-ice officials and others can play a critical part of his or her success in hockey.

One last thing, a little off subject: After a goal, banging sticks, cursing, acting out in any way must not be tolerated! Coaches need to address this, but parents can help by using positive communication. Goalies should collect themselves, stay calm, maybe get a little water, have a little skate, and reset until they are ready to stop the next shot, no matter what!  Blaming teammates also must not be tolerated.  Some goalies need a little "tough love" until they get it, like getting pulled, losing starts, whatever it takes, and parents must be prepared to back this up if the coach makes the decision to do so. It can't be allowed to go on, goal after goal, game after game, with no consequences. With some coaches, I have even had to step in with a few students to take starts away personally. Sometimes parents may have to be the one to do that, and if this is the case, don't let a coach talk you out of it.  Part of their job is to teach your children respect for the game, teammates, coaches, parents, officials, and opponents, and those actions disrespect everyone.

Taking it to the Next Level, Vol. 4.1: Communication on the Ice

For part 4 of our series, we invited frequent HGP contributor, Tony Raffo, to discuss the importance of developing good communication skills, both on and off the ice.  Tony is the director of IGT-Intensity Goaltender Training and currently serves as the goalie coach for Hockey Thurgau in the Swiss NLB Pro League.  

Whether on not a he sports the captain's C, the goalie plays a critical leadership role on the ice.  Often, he is in the best position to observe the play development and can communicate critical information to the rest of the team at key points during the play.  Here's what Tony had to say:



Communication is such important element in taking your game to the next level.  Most importantly, a goalie must lead, direct, and yell to their team during practices and games, and NOT yell at their teammates after a goal. That's another subject, but what a goalie says and does during play, as well as during stoppages, will help to make a good goalie great, and a great goalie "overwhelmingly awesome", to steal a line from a colleague, Steve McKichan. So, DO the following in practices and games: 

1. START AND KEEP TALKING: The hardest part for a young goalie is getting started. As a parent, you can help your child to speak and yell in a positive way. You can have some fun with them role playing to start, maybe with their siblings and friends. It doesn't have to be hockey related. Just get them used to speaking and yelling in public. Attending school plays, theater, and other live performances will help. It's a great way to connect with your children and get them to put the phones away!
   For older, more experienced goalies, coaches and teammates must hold them accountable for doing this, and doing it loudly. A good D man will demand that from them, because many times it is difficult for a defenseman to focus on the play going on behind them. For example, if your D goes into the corner first after a loose puck, a simple: "ON YOU", or "TIME", or "CLEAR", can be helpful.  These should not be long sentences! Use quick, short words and phrases. Remember, this does not have to be a normal part of their personality.  It is a skill that can be developed. Many performers are very shy and reserved, then hit a switch when they go on!
2. SAY ANYTHING: In the beginning, it really doesn't matter what you say. Just start talking and yelling, and keep it up in practices and games. Lead and quarterback the players during practices and games. For example, many coaches run simply shooting drills, 1 on 0. I'm not a fan of this, but it happens A LOT.  Even in shooting drills, the goalie should be yelling at the player to skate fast and shoot, not deke.  Keep it simple.  Yell "SKATE" or SHOOT", just to get used to talking a lot.
   At higher levels, goalies should lead and direct their team. In a 2 on 1,it does little good to yell: "I GOT SHOOTER" Better options would be: "STAY UP" or "GET BACK.  Shouting "RELEASE" is also good when a goalie wants the D to solely play the pass in tight, leaving the shooter to attempt a close shot, or to try and cut across the net where the goalie can be aggressive.
3. OWN THE STOPPAGES: It's very important for the goalie to manage and control breaks in play, especially with a defensive zone face off.  The center must be sure the goalie is ready before they step in. Players must be positioned properly to defend. I recently had a situation with our junior team in which an opponent had a player wide off the far side post and our team did not adjust.  The puck got to him off a quick shot for an easy rebound goal. In that situation, our goalie should have not allowed the center to step in UNTIL we had proper coverage.
   Goalies should also take every opportunity to slow the game down when things are not going well. Take stoppages and stall for time when your team needs time to regroup. When things are going well, he should move the puck when appropriate, let the clock run to speed the game up or set up the play to eat up the clock at other times. All of these things are under the goalie's control, manageable, and very important in leading their team to victory!
4. MANAGE BODY LANGUAGE: How a goalie prepares and conducts herself off the ice, in the locker room, as well as on the ice in practices, warm-ups, and games, speaks volumes to her team, coaches, and opponents. For example, when I see a goalie step on the ice slowly, skate slowly, and "stretch" for long periods of time, sitting on the ice or down on one knee, that looks bad. There is never a reason for a goalie to be on the ice doing nothing. If he is not needed in the net for a drill, he should be working on his own, getting some water quickly, or speaking with his coaches and teammates. If she is tired, she may skate around, shake her legs out, shoot some pucks, makes some passes, and PRACTICE what she has learned from all the GREAT coaching available today.  A goalie can go to the best goalie camps and take private lessons from the best coaches in the world, but if they don't put into practice what they learned, it means nothing.

I'm an old school coach, but the reward for that was having had the opportunity to see current Flyer's GM Ron Hextall play and train live. That was an aggressive, intimidating show. Some of you may have caught the end of his career, and perhaps you've seen old clips on YouTube, but in his mid '80's prime, he could lead and carry a team like no other goalie I have ever seen. He was always a bundle of energy and emotion and at practice he never stopped.  Even when resting, he had a puck, skated, shot, AND when in goal he battled and fought to stop every shot.  In my opinion, that is missing with many today in our "cookie-cutter" (Steve McKichan again) world of 12 year old goalies with moves like Jagr, who don't, or can't, stop the puck! 

Volume 4.2 preview: Verbal & Written Communication

Preparing Your Child to Fail: The Destructive Effects of Helicopter Parenting

As a graduate school professor for over a decade, I have witnessed a dramatic shift in the maturity and emotional capacity of the 20-somethings who matriculate into post-graduate education today.  Young adults arrive at institutes of higher learning prepared for the academic demands, but are often emotionally ill-equipped to handle the stress associated with their newly-acquired independence and responsibilities.  Much research has been performed on a phenomenon called “Helicopter Parenting” and its effect on young peoples’ ability to cope with life stressors once they reach adulthood.  This style of parenting begins in childhood and has detrimental long-term effects.  

The term helicopter parent was first coined by Dr. Haim Ginott in 1969 in a book called Parents & Teenagers. In performing research for his book, Dr. Ginott interviewed teenagers who mentioned that their parents would “hover over them like a helicopter.”   The term quickly became popular and by 2011 was mainstream enough to warrant its own definition in the dictionary.

                       

What is a helicopter parent?

This term is often used when referring to parents of teens and young adults who hover excessively and perform tasks for their child that the child is perfectly capable of handling themselves, such as calling teachers about grades, texting them to make sure they’re up and ready for school, or over-managing their day-to-day activities.   Increasingly, this behavior is seen at younger and younger ages and has become much more prevalent in the youth sports arena.  For example, parents angle and politic to make sure their child has a certain coach, they dress their child in the locker room long past when it is necessary, they constantly ‘consult’ with coaches to express concern, and they provide disproportionate amount of feedback to the child regarding his/her athletic performance.  Early helicoptering behaviors lead to further development of the problem, as parents become more involved in their child’s activities, excessively interceding in their lives and solving problems for them.  Research clearly shows that this has destructive results for children as they progress to the teenage and young adult years.            

Why do parents hover? 

The underlying motivations for parental over-involvement can be divided into five primary categories.  First, they fear negative consequences for their child.  Not making the RIGHT team or not making the team at all may seem catastrophic to a parent, especially if they feel that by personally intervening, they could prevent such failure.  They want to protect their children and keep them safe from the disappointment of failure. 

Second, they feel anxiety.  They worry about what will happen in the future as a result of a tryout, a game or another hallmark event.  “If he doesn’t make THIS team, he will never ‘break into’ the right league.”  “If she doesn’t get to play THIS game, the coach won’t have the confidence to play her in the finals.”  Worry can drive parents to be over-controlling.  This can cause parents to invest more in the outcome of a child’s activities than the child herself.  While they may operate with the best of intent, they are driven to excessively intercede by anxiety.

Third, they are compensating for their own childhood.  Adults who were raised in a less-than-ideal environment may tend to overcompensate for the happiness of their own children.  They provide excessive attention, material gifts and abundant opportunities for their children in an attempt to give their child more than they had in youth.  Or perhaps unrealized dreams from their own youth are being projected onto their child.   They hope that their child can accomplish the things that they did not. 

Fourth, there exists a culture of peer pressure.  Youth sports have become the ultimate “Keeping up with the Joneses” environment. In order to be viewed as one of the in-crowd, your child has to be on the right team, they must work with the right private coach.  Additionally, witnessing the over-involvement of other parents causes them to feel that they should be doing the same.   Parents often perceive that they are in competition with other parents.  They must provide the same or better resources to their own child that others do for theirs.  This creates a vicious cycle of parental over-involvement and is the underpinning of the culture that has become youth sports parenting today.

Finally, they feel guilt.  Threaded throughout all four of the previous reasons, there is an underlying theme of guilt.  Guilt is a powerful motivator for both positive and negative behavior.  It is easy to believe that we are bad parents if we are not doing everything we can to improve our children’s lives. 

          

How is Helicopter Parenting Harmful? 

I want to be clear that, when demonstrating helicopter behaviors, a parent’s intent is good and rooted in love for their child.   Of course, as parents, we want the best for our children.  We want them to succeed.   We want to protect them from failure and disappointment.  We feel like better parents when our children are happy and satisfied.  How, then, could this possibly be a bad thing?  How can doing everything you can to facilitate your child’s success and well-being have unintended negative consequences?

There is a fine line between appropriate parental oversight and the over-involvement associated with helicopter parenting.  Admittedly, the line is difficult to identify and is sometimes a moving target.   It is difficult to know the difference between being an engaged parent and an over-involved parent. 

One must first determine whether their own actions are rooted in fear and guilt.  It is imperative that parents understand that there are important life lessons our children can only learn through age-appropriate failure and disappointment.  Protecting children from all fear, anxiety and disappointment early in life robs them of the opportunity to learn the critical coping skills they will need later in life when the stakes become much higher and their parents are no longer around to solve their problems.  Once parenting becomes driven by the fear of “what might happen if…?” it becomes more difficult for parents to keep a healthy perspective on what lessons are appropriate for their child to learn at each age. 

Clearly put, children must learn to fail.   Failure is a part of life.  No one will escape adversity and obstacles throughout their life.  What sets apart the successful from the unsuccessful individual is their ability to cope with adversity, learn from mistakes and use those lessons to move forward and be better the next time.  When children are raised in a bubble of safety, in a world where they are told they are special, where they are never allowed to fail and problems are always solved for them instead of by them, they enter the age of independence believing that this is the way the entire world should treat them.  As adults, we have all experienced first-hand that the world is a cold, hard place…full of injustice, challenges and obstacles.  This is a stark reality that all of us must face at some point, and as parents, it is our job to prepare our children to function in the reality of society, not for what they think society should be.  By failing to prepare children and teens for the real world, parents set them up for individual failure.  They have shortchanged them of the ability to cope when times get tough.   These children suffer the injustice of being tricked into a false sense of security, only to be unceremoniously shoved out into the harsh world of reality.

So what happens then?  Eventually, age and life circumstances require teens and young adults to face increasingly challenging situations.  School becomes more difficult.  Competition increases for those coveted spots on high-level athletic teams.  They must be competitive to gain entry into the best colleges.   They must navigate the difficulties of intense graduate school programs and vie against other applicants for a job.  What are the inevitable effects of having helicopter parents?

First and foremost, these children have an unrealistic sense of entitlement.  Children who have always been protected from adversity develop an unrealistic expectation that someone will always be there to solve their problems for them.  Because their parents have always been there to remove any obstacle in their path, they wrongfully learn that the obstacles are unfair and unreasonable and shouldn’t be there.  They do not view obstacles as a challenge to be overcome, they see them as an injustice.  They believe success without effort is owed to them, and are unable to comprehend that anyone or anything dare keep them from something that they want.  Consequently, they seek every opportunity to blame failure on others, rather than to look introspectively at what their own role may have been in contributing to an undesirable outcome.  

Second, they lack basic coping skills when faced with adversity.  When one is never allowed to fail, they never learn how to pick themself up, dust themself off, learn from the mistakes and use those lessons to avoid failure in the future.  When failure inevitably occurs, without those skills they are at a loss to know how to handle it.  This results in excessive fear, anxiety and lack of self-esteem.  Anecdotally, I have seen a dramatic increase in the number of young adults who are being treated both psychologically and pharmacologically for anxiety and depression.  I fully attribute this to the lack of coping skills in this generation as a direct result of helicopter parenting. 

Finally, these children lack the ability to make the best of a bad situation.  The old proverb, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” is a foreign concept to them.  They’ve never been handed a lemon.   They’ve never even SEEN a lemon, let alone know how sour one tastes or how to make lemonade.  If anyone dared to give them a lemon, mommy swooped in, snatched it away, and handed them a nice, sweet donut instead.  These children have never learned how to use the negative emotions created by failure…anger, sadness and humility…to fuel their OWN fire to be better.  Being allowed to fail can teach children to channel the negative emotions into intrinsic motivation for self improvement. The most successful people didn’t avoid failure, they failed a thousand times and tried a thousand and one times.   They failed until they succeeded. Children of helicopter parents never learn this lesson. 

How can you avoid being a helicopter parent?

How do you find that fine line, balancing the provision of appropriate parental guidance and oversight with allowing your child enough rope to develop the life skills he or she will need to be successful in the future?  It is difficult to stand in the wings and watch your child struggle and to help them through the heartache of disappointment.  This is the hardest part of parenting, but when we signed up to be a parent, we signed up for the good AND the bad.  That doesn’t imply that our job is to ensure nothing bad ever happens.  It means navigating the bad in the most constructive way and teaching your child to do the same.

Parenting should be approached with as much emphasis on appropriate guidance and oversight as is placed on developing the life skills that the child will need to be successful in the future.  

1. Force independence.  Independence should be nurtured gradually, in an age-appropriate manner.   This is the best way to instill confidence and self-esteem in your child.  By constantly doing things FOR your child, you unwittingly send the message to him that you do not trust him to do it himself.   He receives the subconscious message that he is incapable and untrustworthy, resulting in lack of self-confidence.   This means that you must resist the urge to solve problems for your child.  If he has a problem with a teammate or if he questions whether he is developing his athletic abilities as well as he could be, then encourage HIM to speak with his coach.  Allow him to advocate for himself. You can always be there to move in, if necessary, but empower your child to make the initial effort.   This instills a sense of independence and autonomy and develops communication skills that will be critical for future success.
   
2. Hold them responsible.  When bad things happen, do not immediately look to place blame on others.   In the face of adversity, the first questions you should ask your child are “What do you think YOUR part was in that?  Is there anything you could have done differently?”  Of course, there may be other factors in play and others may share responsibility for adverse outcomes, but children must know that they only hold power over their OWN actions and reactions.  As long as they can look themselves in the mirror and say “I did everything I could have done.  I tried as hard as I could,” then there is no shame in failure.  Life will not always be fair and children need to learn that lesson.  By participating in the blame game, parents only contribute to the development of entitled, self-centered young adults who cannot conceive that they may have played a role in a poor outcome.
   
3. Let them fail.  Failure is never easy, but learning the skills necessary to overcome it is critical to success.  Experiencing the consequences of failure can become a powerful motivator for children to avoid similar mistakes or poor performance in the future.  When your child texts you at work because she forgot her homework, don’t rush home to get it.  Let her grade suffer.   She will need to work that much harder to bring it back up, but she will have pride in accomplishment when she does.  She will also learn how much harder it is to make up ground than to maintain it to begin with, so it is likely that she will avoid making the same mistake again.  Or perhaps your son didn’t make the travel hockey team.   Don’t call the coach to ask the reason why or contact the organization to demand that they create another team for all those who didn’t make the cut.  It is heart-wrenching to watch his disappointment, but may just be harder on you than it is on him.   If making the travel team is a goal he has set, he will work that much harder all season long to make himself more competitive so he can make the team next year.  If he doesn’t, then maybe that’s a message to you that it might have been more important to YOU than it was to him.


Once a child learns HOW to fail, their anxiety about failure is lessened in the future.  They learn that it isn’t the end of the world.  It likely will happen again and they will survive.   They will be better for it in the end.  

This parenting business is difficult and it seems counter-intuitive that our primary responsibility is to render ourselves obsolete.  But when you boil it down, that’s our ultimate goal as parents…to rear children who don’t NEED us.  Take that step back and reflect upon your parenting practices.  Are you doing everything you can to equip your child to become a happy, well-adjusted member of society?  In conclusion, I’ll leave you with an old Native American proverb. 

“Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.”

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